Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
