why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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