Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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