oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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