You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
