He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
