We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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