i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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