i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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