i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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