I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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