You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
