You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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