so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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