Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
