Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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