it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
