Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
