please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
