what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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