So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
