I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
