I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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