the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
