trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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