I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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