I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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