I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
