It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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