Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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