it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
