Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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