Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize