i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
