I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
