Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
