I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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