John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
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Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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