What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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