Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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