google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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