This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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