Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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