Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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