I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
