he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
