Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
