My sheets look like a crime scene.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
