I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We are two peas in an std pod
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
