one two three fourrrrnication!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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