My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
