She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
