someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
