3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
