brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
