I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
