xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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