I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
