can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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