tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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