I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
