i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I love having hate sex.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
