We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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