I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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