I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
