So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
