never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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