Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
