You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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